Friday, January 9, 2009

Finding Peace

Each day, I make choices. Some of those choices are simple - what outfit to wear or what to make for dinner that evening. Other choices seem like they should be simple, but are sometimes very difficult.

I was recently in a situation where someone sent an email to a group I'm associated with that was rude, cruel, and untruthful. It hurt many group members' feelings. Personally, I was so angry, my arm twitched for over an hour. Even several hours after reading the email, there was a slow burn in my gut. I knew I needed to make a choice - one that may seem simple, but was really quite difficult.

How was I going to react to this situation?

My first instinct was to lash back out, but I immediately knew that would be the very worst thing to do.

My next thought was to calm down, then write an email nicely correcting each issue. I knew that if I did so, it would start a volley of emails, the results of which would most certainly be unpleasant.

I consulted with my husband, who understood my feelings and let me vent without judging my initial angry response. Then together, we talked about choices and consequences. It took several hours of mulling over before I finally decided to do nothing at all. To just let the battle begin and end right there.

I felt better after making that choice. But inside, I was still upset and concerned. The real end of the battle didn't come until I finally got on my knees and prayed. Through tears of pain and anger, I poured out my feelings about the situation. Until finally, I felt peace.

Peace that I had made the right decision, but not only that. A peace that allowed me to find forgiveness for the creator of all the tension and anger, and to just let the whole situation go.

Our lives are filled with choices. Many of them are simple and take very little contemplation on our part. But every so often, we are in a situation that tests our patience and character. The choices we make in these situations are reflected back onto the most important part of our lives - our family.

When I'm angry or hurt, I tend to have a much smaller amount of patience for those I love most - my kids and husband. Is it worth holding onto that anger or grudge? Do I want my kids to learn to react that way?

I'm grateful for the miracle of forgiveness - for the peace it brings to me, my family, and my relationships with others.

This morning, Meridian Magazine included this video about forgiveness. I was filled with peace as I watched it, knowing I was on the right path. Sometimes it's not easy to forgive - but it is worth it. I hope you enjoy this video and that you may be able to let go of any grudges that are holding you back as well.



President James E. Faust's last General Conference talk before he passed away - Forgiveness - The Greatest Gift.


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9 comments:

Amy said...

Thanks for this post and having the video. It was really good to listen to and be reminded of his message. I too have been thinking alot lately about the power of forgiveness and how true forgiveness heals the anger and hurt. And have found it so in my own life.

Danyelle Ferguson said...

Amy, I'm glad you enjoyed the video. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on forgiveness, too.

Josi said...

Wow, Danyelle--I am so impressed. I am usually too hot-headed and react before thinking it out. I hope the situation resolved itself and I'm humbled by your approach. Loved, loved, loved, the video. Faust was an amazing man.

Danyelle Ferguson said...

Josi - please don't be impressed with me. It was incredibly hard to hold back. I don't know yet what the outcome is, but I hope the situation improves. If anything, I know it did for me simply because I'm not stressed about it anymore. I'm glad you enjoyed the video.

ali said...

Danyelle, that was lovely.

The video was incredibly moving and I appreciated the arrangement of it ~ thank you for sharing it.

But I was also very touched by your post. You wrote it beautifully and showed your beautiful spirit not only in your choice to forgive, but in your tender heartedness and desire to protect the wronged.

You are truly a great example to me, and to everyone who reads your blog.

Thank you.

Danyelle Ferguson said...

Ali - Thank you for your sweetness. You've brightened my evening.

kathy said...

Danyelle

I am so sorry that you went through this - how upsetting - I understand what you said about how it relates to your family - the consequences from all of it. I'm glad you found a way to be at peace with your thoughts - what a caring person you are

Lovely video

Danyelle Ferguson said...

Thank you Kathy. I'm glad you liked the video.

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

This was an awesome post. I loved the video.
What wonderful peace comes from forgiving. I hope that you can get through this rough time and continue to feel the comfort and peace that forgiveness brings.
Thanks so much for sharing.

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