A Note from My Bed . . . .

It's been a week my friends. One that has certainly felt more like a month journeying between the hottest land in Africa to the most frozen part of Antartica. Chills, shakes, fevers, sweat. So disgusting. A head that wants to burst, a cough that won't stop and a horrible ear/throat/chest infection.

Today is the first day I could actually sit up and look at my netbook without wanting to be sick all over it. But I'll count that as progress. It's better than where I was. Now, back to sleep for me. I hope y'all are doing much better. Please share some happy stuff on on in your life to make me feel better.

It's So Cherry Super Spring Giveaway!

I'm excited to share with you a totally fun new store called It's So Cherry! They have the cutest accessories. And lucky you, I've been asked to participate in their giveaway for Mother's Day.

It's So Cherry Super Spring Kickoff

The trees and flowers are blooming, the sun is out (well, sometimes) and we here at It's So Cherry are all about celebrating, so we're giving away gift bags to four lucky winners, and a pair of barefoot sandals to 20 more. That’s right, you have TWENTY-FOUR chances to win.

To enter, register at www.itssocherry.com, and follow one (or more) of the participating blogs, then fill out the form below.

Contest Rules:

- Must be 16 and over

- One prize per household

- Must be registered @www.itssocherry.com

- Only valid for those living within the continental US, or with a United States mailing address

Each grand prize goodie bag will contain (1) Flower necklace set (with earrings), (1) crochet head wrap (color may vary), (1) scarf (color and style may vary), (1) package nail wraps, and (1) black wrap bracelet.  We will also give away 20 pairs of barefoot sandals to 20 winners.  

Barefoot Sandals - Aren't they awesome?

To enter, simply register for an account with It's So Cherry (www.itssocherry.com) and sign up for their email list.  Entries will be accepted starting Monday, May 7^th, until midnight, mountain standard time, on Friday, May 18^th.  

Prizes will be shipped within 10 business days after contest winners have been announced.   Winners will be selected using random.org, and contacted using the email provided for registration on the It's So Cherry website.  

Names of the goodie bag winners will be posted to participating blog sites as well as the blog for It's So Cherry, www.itssocherry.blogspot.com. Upon notification, winners will have 7 days to respond, after which another winner will be chosen.  

Motherhood & Autism

A week ago, my middle school son with autism came down with a bad case of bronchitis. The poor guy sounded like he was hacking up half his lung - and was absolutely miserable. He stayed home from school all last week. Which means mom got the pleasure of home schooling him. And it actually was nice. There's so much I miss while he's at school all day - his questions about context he's learning, interesting comments in science and social studies. By the time he comes home and I ask how his day was, all I get is a "It was great!". I enjoyed actually being on the discovery and working hard side for a change.

It also happened that last week was a mega deadline week. I had to make a lot of decision about how to schedule my time between meeting my family's needs, checking off my work to-do list, and stay mentally together. It was quite a challenge, but somehow it all came together.

One item on my to-do list actually helped me to freak out a tad bit less. I agreed to review Motherhood Matters by Connie E. Sokol. You may remember Connie from her Autism Celebration post earlier this month. I've enjoyed her books in the past and have reviewed them here on my blog. This time, her book is a short Mother's Day gift book. The chapters are tiny, but the messages have a powerful impact. Each day, I would read just one chapter - which took less than five minutes. I found I had one of two responses.

1. "Amen! I've totally been there!" reaction, followed by a "It's so nice to have someone else admit to not being perfect, but who still enjoys being a mom."  OR
2.  I found myself thinking about the chapter's topic throughout the day, wondering how I used it in my life, what my motherhood style was like, and how I work with Heavenly Father to care for my munchkins.

Which means I spent a lot of time this past month thinking about motherhood and autism. In Motherhood Matters, I was reminded that there is no "perfect" way of mothering. Each of our families has a different make up. Some people have large families, others just one or two kids. Some families don't have any special needs, some have a mixture of typical kids and special needs kids, and I even know a few families that each of their munchkins fall somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. Each family is unique and awesome.

Connie reminded me that we each get to be the best mother for our own families AND we should never compare ourselves to the whoever we perceive as the perfect neighborhood mom. I absolutely know that I'm the mom my kids need - yet, I still fall victim to looking at my friends and their awesome mothering skills and think "Man, I wish I could be more like her." It's refreshing to have someone else remind me that my goofy family and our way of working together is perfect for us - and my style of motherhood is awesome for our family.

So, today, as I wrap up this month of Autism Awareness, I wanted to share that message with each of my readers. No matter what your family is like, YOU are the mom your munchkins need. You work hard every single day to find balance between the joyful, mundane, and stressful moments.  YOU are awesome. Take a deep, cleansing breath. And another one. Then repeat after me:

"I am a great mom!"

I want to end with a huge thank you to all the moms and dads who love their munchkins with autism so very much. Who celebrate their uniqueness, their talents and gifts, and their strengths. Who help their munchkins work on their challenges, help them take a step in the right direction . . . and never, ever give up. Each of you is an incredible blessing in your child's life. So, on behalf of your munchkins, I want to say thank you for your love and dedication to your families.

Happy Autism Awareness Month!

For more information about Motherhood Matters by Connie E. Sokol, please visit her website.

Why I Chose Autism by Katie Norman

People often ask “why” I chose to work with students with Autism.  My answer is:  I didn’t choose autism it chose me. 

As a student at the University of Kansas, I was studying biology for pre-med.  I always knew I wanted to work with children and to somehow make a difference in their lives.  At the time, I had never heard the word autism nor did I know anyone who had been diagnosed.  All I knew was I wanted to work with children. Early in my college education, I realized biology and chemistry were not for me.  Half way through my second year of college, I enrolled in a child development class and absolutely fell in love.  From there I started exploring some psychology classes.  It wasn’t until I changed majors from Biology to Human Development and Family Life/Psychology that I found my true calling.  I enrolled in some behavior modification classes and then had to pick an emphasis within my major.  I chose “Working with Students with Autism”.  I took courses that primarily focused on the autism spectrum.  I excelled in these courses and loved them. I enjoyed the readings, the assignments, and didn’t dread the tests. This was what I was supposed to be studying.

 It was then that I met my first student.  

Katie Norman with my son Isaac & his Autism Specialist, Mr. Todd.

 A foster grandmother had approached me in one of my classes. She needed some home support for her grandson with autism.  She asked me to meet him and work with him at home as well as take him into the community.  I had read about students with autism and ways to teach them but this was going to be a new challenge.  From the time we first met, I became a part of his family.  I worked with him several days a week after school.  Don’t get me wrong, he was a challenge for me and for his grandparents - both behaviorally and academically. However to watch the progress he made over time, made it all worth it.  It reinforced my belief that I was in a field I loved. I worked with him in the home setting from the time he was 8. He’s now 21 and I still keep in touch with his family.   

Although I taught this student a lot, he and his family taught me even more.  They taught me to love unconditionally, compassion, patience, and to never give up.

I graduated college, obtained my teaching certificate and a master’s degree. Then I started my career as an Early Childhood Autism Teacher.  I was in for what I thought of as the challenge of my life (up to that point).  I was a first year teacher opening up a new program with 6 students with autism and 3 peer models.  I knew how to do 1:1, but what was I going to do with 6?  It was also my first time managing classroom paras.  Yes, it was difficult at first, but it was one of the most rewarding times in my career.  I built a program for these students and got to watch them flourish first hand.  I was there writing their initial IEP‘s and talking their parents through what it would be like to send their babies to school for the first time.  I had to build trust and confidence with these parents.  I also had to be a shoulder for them to cry on for parents who recently received the diagnoses – and sometimes I cried to.  

There isn’t anything was more exciting than hearing a student’s first word or witnessing a first sign.  I videotaped these milestones so the parents wouldn’t miss out.  I witnessed many other first milestones - students using the potty for the first time, a student who could no more than sit for a portion of circle time could now lead circle time, a student who wouldn’t touch paint was now a master in art center.  These were the times that made smile.  Our moto was “Tiny steps to giant victories” and that is exactly what it was in my classroom. We celebrated each and every “tiny step”.

When I made the choice to leave the classroom—one of the hardest decisions ever—I put on a preschool graduation for my students.  At that time there were 8 identified students and 4 peer models.  The students participated in a circle time session with their parents and then was followed by a slide show of my class and students over the last two years.  There was not a dry eye in the room.  I was the worst.  I was saying goodbye to many of my first students who had come so far. Goodbye to my classroom and para educators.  Each and everyone one of these students, parents, and staff were a blessing to myself, to each other and together we learned a ton.  I will never forget my first students.  I still see some of them today as they are get ready to transition to middle school.  They have come so far. I am so proud of each and every one of them.

If you could work with people with disabilities, what area would you choose?

Katie Norman is an Autism Specialist for Olathe School District. She taught an autism preschool prior to becoming an autism specialist. She studied at University of Kansas for both her undergraduate degree and Master of Science in Special Education. She is currently taking course work through Florida Institute of Technology in Behavior Analysis. She loves her job, the students she work with, and the families she is able to support!

Autism Celebration 2012: My Experience with Autism by Sarah Anderson

Sarah and her son.

When I was in college, I needed to volunteer in a special needs classroom for a day as a class assignment. I was a little apprehensive because I had pretty much zero experience with non-typical kids. On the day of my assignment I parked my old Honda Accord on the street next to a worn two story building across the street from campus. I really didn’t know what to expect. The sign next to the road read Oakridge high school. I met up with others members from an art education class and headed for the main office. The secretary sent us to different classes as volunteers for the day.

The class I was sent to had five students. Their ages ranged from 14-17. They all had normal names and wore normal clothes. At first glance they looked like a group of normal American teenagers sitting around a large table. But they were anything but normal. They rocked back and forth, some hit their heads while others muttered strands of unintelligible words. All of them had a faraway look in their eye as though their souls we’re trapped deep inside.  They were autistic. Not high on the spectrum but so deep they hardly acknowledged my existence. The day ended with a school wide sock hop that consisted of a gathering of kids with a variety of syndromes. Teachers rocked wheel chairs back and forth, and I jumped up and down over exerting myself trying to get just one kid to move.

The next day my classmates spoke about how sad it was, how hard it was to look at some of the student deformities, and even how they would not want to teach them.  But I couldn’t wait to go back. I started volunteering on a regular basis, and then moved to a different class room as a part-time TA. I met a kid who could organize anything. I’m even guilty of deliberately messing up stuff just to keep him busy. I spent mornings taking kids out in the community. I even went to McDonald’s and helped the kids clean tables as part of work program. At the end of the year, I was on a committee to decorate their prom. 

A lot of the kids didn’t recognize me from day to day but I kept coming back. It was hard but I felt I needed to be there. I wanted to see them smile back at me. I wanted a sign that I was helping but I got nothing in return. I went back and forth about changing my major, even though I was almost done. I left on church service mission, but when I returned, I jumped back in. Nothing in the classrooms fit my schedule, so I became a lunch aide just a few hours a week, but it was enough. I loved these kids who could not reciprocate. I worked there until the school changed locations and I could not follow.

On the last day, I remember leaving the parking lot and thinking there had to be a reason I was pulled toward these kids, given three years of my life to them. I felt certain I would draw on the experience that it hadn’t been for nothing.

Two years later I gave birth to a child with Neurofibromatosis. It’s not Autism, but I use a lot of skills and patience I learned from my time at the special need high school. I draw on my experience to get through therapy sessions and IEP meetings.  My son goes to a special needs preschool where his best friends are kids on the spectrum because they don’t seem to notice he is different. 

Autism has touched my life. Serving those with autism has made me a better person. And autism has given back to me through my son.  I will always have a special place in my heart for those who are a little different.

Have you had a teaching or volunteer experience with someone with autism? If so, how did they touch your life? 

You can learn more about Sarah on her blog. 

Autism Celebration: How to Use Technology to Help Our Kids with Autism by Victoria Holt

In just the three short years since our daughter Tessa’s diagnosis of ASD, the availability of knowledge, information and resources has boomed. Books, local special education services, Smartphones and iPads, and especially the Internet have expanded the help that is available to families touched by the disorder. 

Victoria and her daughter, Tessa.

Our family has used technology in a number of ways to help us navigate the churning waters of Autism. Indeed, what would we all do without Internet search engines and especially uplifting blogs written by family members who know what we are going through on a daily basis? We have our sleepless nights and our public and private meltdowns like anyone with Autism in their family, but we have managed to reduce the number of public meltdowns with the help of modern technology. I had the good sense to marry a computer geek, so for the past eighteen years, technology has been at the forefront in our home. 

Recently, we were preparing for a trip to the dentist, and I felt prompted to bring my digital camera. I thought I could take photos of the waiting room, the dentist, the exam table and so on, and use them at a later visit to the dentist for a social story. The visit to the dentist went even better than expected, in large part because my daughter Tessa was determined to make it so. She told me before we arrived that she did not want to cry! I took photos of everything: big sister brushing, Tessa smiling, the hygienist working on big sister’s teeth and so on. The staff was extremely accommodating, and allowed Tessa to sit during the exam, rather than lie back on the chair. I recorded it all, feeling such pride and accomplishment on Tessa’s behalf. She was working so hard to not let her anxiety take over, that I had to blink back tears.  After a successful exam and many accolades, we came home, and I had these remarkable photographs of something I thought I would never see. Tessa at the dentist, happy.  

It occurred to me that I could upload the photos to our computer and look at them often to boost my daughter’s morale. As I was uploading, I thought about my blog and how neat it would be to put them on there. But my blog is about food and cooking…not really the best venue for such momentous pictures! That’s when it all snapped into place. I would create asocial stories blog for Tessa to review photos of events that she participated in, and to remember what it was like, and how she reacted, all in vivid Technicolor! 

As I recorded the dentist appointment, it occurred to me that other parents and kids might benefit from such a blog. I made the executive decision to open the blog for public viewing. I hadn’t seen anything like that in cyberspace.  

As you all know, life is hectic and at times, overwhelming. I don’t update the social stories blog as often as I would like, but it is a resource that is always there when we need it. We recently viewed the famous dentist appointment visit again, as it was time to return for a check-up. Tessa remembered the hygienist’s name, the general routine, and her younger brother enjoyed looking at the photos as well: it was an unexpected benefit because he had a check-up also. 

When I have time and the inclination, I like to photograph simple events in our lives and put them on the social stories blog so that Tessa can prepare herself for upcoming situations. It is a somewhat simple solution that has great dividends for our family. I have also used photographs to create a hands-on social story by printing them out and making laminated books that Tessa could look at again and again. In a pinch, I have simply carried my camera with me, and recorded events as they happened, and shown the photos on my camera to Tessa during the outing. It has the ability to calm her down because it gives her a slightly different perspective on the situation. Additionally, Tessa’s school teacher uses an iPad and other hi-tech devices to aid Tessa’s learning in the classroom.

 I am thankful for the prompting I received to bring my camera along to the dentist that day, because it turned out to have lasting positive consequences. I encourage other parents to think outside the usual routine and attempt to use some of the technology that is out there to provide better experiences for their child with Autism. Everyone who views the photographs, from the child with Autism to her parents, siblings and grandparents, will enjoy this alternate perspective on situations, and has the potential to bring happy memories alive again, and put a positive spin on an otherwise stressful event.

Notes from Danyelle: Here are some additional recommended apps to use on your android tablets, phones or iPads. Enjoy!

•  Model Me Going Places ($24.99) - Social videos
• Easy Kid Tokens (FREE) - Cute token economy. I personally love it!
• Easy Kid Timer (.99) - Transition timer w/ pics of next activity
• AAC Speech Buddy ($27.99) - An interactive PECS system for Android, iPhone, iPad, MAC, or your personal computer
• iPrompts ($49.99) - iPad version transition timer w/ picture choices
• ABA Flash Cards: Emotions (FREE) - iPad emotion flash cards
• Pictello ($18.99) - Create talking books for social stories on your iPhone or iPad

 What types of technology have you discovered to help your child with Autism?
 

Victoria Holt is the mom of 5.33 kids. She has had a handful of short fiction stories published in literary journals you've never heard of, and also an essay in Segullah, which you may have heard of. She loves to scrapbook and read outside in warm weather. Her daughter's ASD diagnosis actually came as a relief after two years of genetic testing and other false starts. Autism has brought her family closer together and closer to God. For some low-key social stories, check out her social stories blog http://asdsocialstories.wordpress.com/ . For some low-key recipes, you can check out her other blog: Whats4Dinner?." http://v1ct0r1a.wordpress.com/ 

Autism Celebration 2012: Girls Scouts & Autism by Dena Millet

My 11 year old daughter with Asperger’s Syndrome has been active with the Girl Scouts since she was five years old.  While she struggles with meetings and the social aspect of Scouts (especially as she has gotten older and the friendships in the Troop have become more complex), she adores activities, field trips, and going to camp.  I have noticed through the years that she blossoms in Scouting, she dives into service projects with both feet and finds her voice in public when she wears her Girl Scout Vest.  The same child that struggles to answer simple social questions from a person she does not know, wears her Girl Scout Vest, and has confidence, handling social situations with less difficulty.  She is able to work with many members of the community in setting up, managing, and following up on various service projects.

In 2011, we tried doing Cookie Booths for the first time, as when she was younger, I was unsure how she would handle working with the public in such a hectic environment.  She did very well with the booth sales and she and her younger sister earned enough through their cookie sales to pay for a weekend at camp.  We went as the only members of our troop, and I stayed with the girls.  My daughters both had been having challenges with night terrors, and the Camp Director (“Chipmunk”) was very helpful in making accommodations for the girls, putting us in the health center in the lodge so that the girls would be able to experience camp without added social stresses (and to prevent their sleepless nights from keeping other campers awake).  I was so pleased to see how much assistance we received to make camp a memorable experience for her.

We were in the middle of the dinner line on our first night when my heart sank into my toes.  We were in the cafeteria and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a girl staring at my daughters.  Immediately, I spun around and took a good look at her, recognizing her as the girl that had been a bully to my daughter for two years.  I hurried the girls into the cafeteria and to a table, my mind racing to determine my next action.  My first thoughts centered around making a quick escape and taking them home.  Not wanting to do so, I decided that I would keep my daughter so busy that she would not know that this girl was also at camp.  I felt very tired all of a sudden, realizing that this proposition was going to require a lot of work and quick thinking.  I decided to enlist the assistance of my 8 year old to help me.  She is very protective of her sister and I knew I could count on her. 

We went through this for the first evening’s activities as well as the activities for the next morning, and through lunch of the second day.  Any time for Mom to relax in the mountains was rapidly disappearing into the time and energy that was spent staying one step ahead of my daughter.  This was not fun for me nor my younger daughter, and my older daughter was happily oblivious.  This was not going to work for the remainder of the weekend.  I talked to “Chipmunk,” explained the situation, and the other girl’s Troop Leader was given a head’s up as well. 

That evening at dinner, I made my move, informing my daughter that the girl was at camp and that I had a plan to help her feel better.  She immediately began to exhibit anxiety and worry.  I gave her a hug, told her that she was going to be ok and that we were going to handle this together.  I had hatched a plan that would hopefully put this to rest and bring resolution to my daughter so that this experience would be memorable and meaningful to her and give her added self confidence. 

The ritual at camp for meals was to have small pieces of plastic fruit that were distributed from table to table allowing the girls at that table to visit the salad bar.  When our table had completed our round at the salad bar, I handed the plastic banana to my daughter and we walked to the table across the room, her with much trepidation as she was rapidly breathing, knowing we were going to the table at which sat the girl who had, in a nutshell, made her life very difficult.  I held her hand and encouraged her the entire way.  When we got to the table, she reached out, her hand shaking, and held the banana for the girl to take.  She uttered a tentative, “Here,” and the girl reached out, smiled and thanked her.  The exchange was complete; the ice had been broken.  My daughter sighed, and practically flew back to our table. 

The interaction was a success, yet I had one more plan in place to help my daughter conquer her fear of this girl and try and make this a positive experience for her, as well as a potential learning experience for the other girl.  The following day (final one at camp), had closing exercises and a “SWAPS” exchange planned.  (SWAPS are a long-standing tradition of exchanging simple do-dads with new friends and are so called because of the acronym: Special  Whatchamacallits  Affectionately Pinned  Somewhere.  http://www.girlscouts.org/who_we_are/facts/swaps/)    

During a SWAPS exchange, the girls bring pins, etc. that they have made and exchange them with their new friends.  I had made one the night before to give to the girl and planned on visiting with her at the exchange and telling her of her strengths and challenging her to always use her dynamic personality to the betterment of others, rather than to try and control them.  This exchange went well, and my daughters saw the interaction (but did not hear it).  When it came time to do the SWAPS exchange, I sent my daughter to exchange with the girl (she was able to approach her on her own without my support) and stood by, watching her countenance change.  Within a few seconds, she turned, with a huge smile on her face, and walked a little bit taller that day.

I am so proud of how she did in facing the fears which had troubled her for so long.  I’d expected to bring home memories from Girl Scout Camp, but had no idea that the memories which she would be bringing home would involve such a life-changing experience, especially since she has not mentioned this girl and her bullying since. 

Have you had a Boy or Girl Scout experience with someone with special needs?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dena Wootton Millet is a wife, mom of 2 girls and step-mom of 4 girls - the six range in age from 8 to 20.  Dena and her husband spend a vast amount to time trying to keep track of all the ins and outs of 6 girls and their busy schedules, not to mention their own!  One of Dena's daughters was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at the age of 7.  Dena works raising awareness of Asperger's Syndrome as well as her work to increase awareness of and advocating for adult and child victims of Domestic Violence and Abuse.  She co-authored Cheaper, Greener, Cleaner - Ceiling to Floor Savings and regularly blogs at: http://www.cheapergreenercleaner.com/blog-every-day-the-cheaper-greener-cleaner-way/