Top 10 Reasons Why Having a Baby is Easier Than Writing a Book by Karlene Browning

OK - this was a TOTALLY awesome post over on the Six LDS Writers and a Frog Blog (affectionately known as the Frog Blog). I wanted to just link you over to this specific blog, but for some reason, blogger was being stupid & wouldn't let me click on the post title to get the direct link. So yes, I copied and pasted it here for your reading enjoyment. But just remember - the original coolness started over on the Frog Blog. Go check it out. They have lots of fun guest blogs right now.

Top 10 Reasons Why Having a Baby is Easier than Writing a Book

by Karlene Browning

When writers compare the process of writing a book to having a baby, I just have to roll my eyes and wonder. They must never have had a baby. Or perhaps, like with childbirth, the memory of the whole writing and publishing experience is erased by the joy of seeing that finished product on the bookstore shelves.

I’m here to remind everyone that writing a book is so NOT like having a baby. Having a baby is much, much easier! Right, Julie?

Top 10 Reasons Why Having a Baby is Easier than Writing a Book:

10. A baby changes and grows, and presumably gets better with age. Once your book is published, it is what it is. Plot holes do not gradually heal over with time and lame dialog is never replaced with more appropriate speech. It stays as you created it. For all the world to see. Forever.

9. There’s no such thing as in vitro novelization. Or novel surrogacy. Or even novel adoption. If you can’t create the idea yourself, you don’t get to be a proud author.

8. There is no epidural for the birthing of a book. Sorry. Not even chocolate can dull the pain.

7. It only takes nine months to birth a baby.

6. Nobody yells at you when your baby is overdue—with a baby you get sympathy and backrubs, and if you’re lucky, gifts of chocolate.

5. No one expects you to edit a newborn.

4. You get to name your baby.

3. You rarely have to present your baby in public dressed in something that embarrasses you—unless it’s a gift from your mother-in-law, and then you can change it as soon as she leaves.

2. Nobody tells you your baby is ugly to your face. Nor do they bad mouth it on the Internet.

And the number one reason having a baby is easier than writing a book:

1. No one expects you to have a new baby every. single. year. for the rest of your life.

Karlene Browning lives at Inksplasher. She is the mother of four wonderful children, three cats and a dog. She is also the proud author of Ancient Civilizations, an educational book for middle grades, and is currently gestating an entire litter of novels. As an editor and former publisher, she has midwifed many a new book, hopefully making the process a little easier for those involved.

Visit her at:

Would you like to comment?

Jenn said...

I never thought of hiring a book midwife before. Here I am, trying to give birth to my book all by myself! No wonder I'm way past my due date and nothing's coming out!

Unknown said...

Too funny :)

Danyelle Ferguson said...

Jennifer - You are so awesome! I love the idea of a book midwife. Would that be something like having a co-author? Or would the co-author be considered the birthing coach? :)

Cathy said...

Loved this blog. Would writer's block be kind of a book epidural, when your brain is all numb. No pain, no gain, right. Well at least that's the theory.
Thanks for sharing this. It was fun.

Danyelle Ferguson said...

A book epidural - that's awesome! That's definitely a more positive way to consider writer's block. :)

Karlene said...

Hi Danyelle. Thanks for extending my 15 minutes of fame. :)


Danyelle Ferguson said...

Karlene -

No problem. Your post was just awesome. I hope you didn't mind me copying and pasting it here. :)