Say Yes to the Dress

My daughter, MJ, and I recently discovered Say Yes to the Dress on Netflix. Since then, we've watched a couple episodes each day together. We've worked our way through seasons 1 & 2 and are a few episodes into season 3. It's been fun to watch the different experiences as brides shop for their wedding gowns . . . and it's brought up a lot of great conversations about dating, getting married, and modesty.

The store that hosts the show - Kleinfelds in Manhattan, NY - is one of the largest bridal salons in the world. Most of the dresses they carry are strapless - hence the talks about modesty. Especially when dresses by Pnina Tornai are being tried on and touted as "sexy". In truth, they are trashy and horrific! Manolo wrote an excellent blog post about why he dislikes the Pnina Tornai dresses and was totally spot on when he said they were "a stripperesque vulgarity rarely witnessed in the world of bridal couture." Really, ladies, save the sexy stuff for the honeymoon. You don't need to look like you're standing on the corner waiting for your next customer as you walk down the aisle. Sheesh!

For the most part, the dresses that are shown are absolutely gorgeous. MJ and I talk about all the different styles, what we like, and what types of gowns look better on the brides. Totally fun!

Of course, all this bridal stuff prompted MJ to ask if she could try on my wedding dress. So Sunday evening, my hubby pulled out my wedding bin. MJ was so, so excited to see my gown. She stood on a folding chair - cause I was much taller than my almost 11-year-old chickie - and slipped the gown over her head. Her face was pure radiance!

We got the dress all adjusted and when I zipped her up, I discovered that my wedding gown was the perfect fit around her waist.

Then I spent about two minutes reminiscing my once-upon-a-time, teeny, tiny waist. Sigh. I would much rather have my four munchkins, but occasionally I miss all the cute clothes I used to be able to wear. C'est la vie.

We pulled out my huge, long, long veil.

 Then my wedding bouquet.

 And voila! My sweet pre-teen daughter . . . 

Isn't she just such a cutie?

So here's my question for y'all. What do you do to teach your daughters about weddings and marriage?

Would you like to comment?

Cindy Beck, author said...

That is oh, so sweet! Loved both the pictures of her and you. And thought not only was the dress lovely, but the bouquet was beautiful! Thanks for sharing.

Kimber said...

How sweet! I love the picture! So far, I'm just trying to help Melissa understand that she can't marry her Daddy, like she wants to. He's taken. :o) She has asked me several times who she is going to marry, and we've had some fun discussions about choosing a husband. It's fun to talk about these things with a three-year-old!

rebecca h jamison said...

What great pictures! I think my daughter and I have always talked a lot about modesty, dating, and marriage. It's mostly been a casual thing. Shopping is sometimes super frustrating since my daughter's very tall, so I let her find stuff online. Then we discuss whether it looks good enough to buy. She also reads most everything I write, so she knows what my values really are.

Danyelle Ferguson said...

Kimber - I'm where you are with Melissa in regards to my four-year-old. Only she keeps insisting she's going to marry her brother. It makes me smile that they are best friends and love being together. Of course, I tell her she'll have to find someone who has the personality like her brother, cause he has to marry someone else. =)

kbrebes said...

Beautiful, Danyelle. Makes me tear up!

Here are two ideas for you, which I have done in YW and with my daughter.
1) Get a large poster board, tons of magazines, scissors and glue sticks. Have her title each side of the board (can be "modest" and "immodest", or "temple marriage" and "worldly marriage"--whatever she chooses). Then let her make collages on each side. Fun to hang in her room or take to church and share.
2) Make a Temple Wedding notebook. Part of the notebook comes from the Ensign, which I'll have to take pictures for you to see. After that section, then there is a page devoted to her own wedding planning. A page for her to cut and paste her favorite wedding gown; a page for wedding shoes; a veil, a ring, earrings, cake, flowers, reception decorations, music, etc. You get the idea. The notebook can contain as many pages as she wishes. She can also write her hopes and dreams below each picture. She can even have a picture of her groom and what kind of tux she likes. She can put anything in the notebook she likes. Pix of best friends and bridesmaids. Places she might like to go on her honeymoon. Her favorite temple pic. Maybe someday you can blog it! : )
Have Fun! Great mother/daughter activities!

Danyelle Ferguson said...

Kathy - I absolutely LOVE that idea! She loves to journal, so this is such a natural fit for MJ. I'm totally going to do this! Would you please send me pics of how you did yours?

Kellie said...

I love this! That show is one of my favorites. This summer I watched a lot of it while I was in Texas. We don't have Netflix, but I have a friend that does, so maybe we'll have a girls' night :) I sometimes think about when my oldest will be big enough to try my dress on and I get excited.

kbrebes said...

Okay, I have the book next to me now. The baby was asleep and wedged into my side yesterday, so I couldn't get up to get it. What I did was to take the temple magazine that looks like an Ensign and cut it up. I glued pictures from inside the magazine on pages and typed scriptures beside or beneath them. For example, one page has a picture of Adam and Eve kneeling over a rock altar. Above it I typed Genesis 3:21 and below it, I typed Ephesians 6:13. I also wrote about the white garment symbolizing purity and modesty. Another example would be pictures of the different rooms in the temple, and the bride's room. You can also add a family history page. You might just sit down with MJ and let her cut out all the pictures she likes, glue them on the pages, and then look up scriptures together she likes and wants to put around the pictures. Of course, she can use quotes, too. It's such a fun project!

momJulee said...

How sweet Danyelle! What a fun thing to do!

Tamera Westhoff said...

Every year I let my girls try on my Wedding dress and we have lots of talks about modesty and getting married in the Temple! We read this great book called "My Wedding Day" (I think). It talks about a little girl thinking about her future Wedding day at the Temple!