Marry the one you love and love the one you marry. It sounds simple enough. But staying in love turns out to be a whole lot different than falling in love. In a world of constant distraction, marriage experts agree that the little things matter—a lot. The Two-Minute Marriage Project explores the little things couples think, say, and do to stay in love for the long haul. Supported by expert studies, interviews with happily married couples, and years of personal experience, author Heidi Poelman shares the simple secrets that keep love alive. Whether it’s choosing an attitude of gratitude, leaving a love note, giving a welcome-home hug at the door, or calling just to say “hello,” The Two-Minute Marriage Project is full of simple ways to love the one you married, two minutes at a time.
John and Danyelle's Review
The Two Minute Marriage Project kicked off with assuming the couple has a traditional life - hubby goes off to work, wife stays at home to take care of the kids, etc. Of course, John and I are not at all like that couple. We both work from home and have gobs of fun together. One thing we enjoy is reading books together. In the past, we've read several "make your marriage better" books. We typically find a few tidbits of wisdom that we apply to our relationship.
What we did find was that almost everything in the preface is repeated in the first chapter. We spent ten minutes reading the preface, then seventeen minutes reading the first chapter, just to get to the first "2 minute" action step!
Here are our thoughts as we went through the first "project" of the book - which definitely took longer than 2 minutes.
Our favorite quote: John Jacobs, professor at NYU’s School of Medicine. "The only glue holding couples together now is the glue created by the two of you—the glue of mutual satisfaction, gratification, appreciation, and respect. The glue of mature love.”
#1 - Look back on how you met your spouse and what it felt like to fall in love. Make a commitment to do what is required to stay in love.
J: What did it feel like to fall in love?
D: Gooey - like melted Starbursts. All soft, but tangy.
J: Starbursts aren't gooey. When I think gooey, I think of roasted marshmallows - sweet on the inside, burned to a crisp on the outside.
D: What did it feel like to fall in love?
J: Exciting. Now I look back on it and I think it was exhausting. I'm so glad I don't have to do that at this age.
D: (Not sure what to think about that . . . .)
J: I commit to do what it takes to stay in love. What are the minimum requirements???
D: *sidelong glance at hubby, contemplating a to-do list*
J: (whispers) Did you know I give you a kiss every morning? Before I get out of bed, I lean over and gently kiss your cheek.
D: Ahhh. *gooey girly heart*
#2 - Consider what feelings you want in the space between you and your spouse. Do you want to feel loved? Respected? Cherished? How do you want your spouse to feel?
J: Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of -
D: The crazy Ferguson's.
*crickets are heard outside as we both contemplate the concept of the space between each of us and what it should be like*
D: This might take longer than 2 minutes.
J: There's gotta be a song for this.
J: If you had to choose between loved, respected or cherished, which would you choose?
J: There's definitely a song for that.
D: Yep, Madonna rocked it.
J: Um, I was thinking of the other one.
D: The one from Pretty in Pink *sings tune*
J: Yep, that's the one.
D: What would you choose?
J: Is there a D - all of the above?
D: I'm the D. =)
J: I think I would choose loved.
J: I didn't ask you why!
D: Too bad. I am. You had your turn. Now it's mine. Why?
J: When I think of cherished, I think of something held very carefully, something fragile, something special. So I just don't connect with that word personally. I see it for you, but I think loved is a much more practical word. It's more me.
J: Now it's my turn! Why cherished? Because there are songs about it? There are more songs about love!
D: Like What's Love Got to Do with It?
J: (head banging, singing Tina style)
J: I don't have long enough hair to do the song justice. But if we're talking songs, let's go for the ultimate, hands-down winning song. Aretha, give me a little RESPECT, baby
*cue song and singing from JnD*
Getting back on topic.
#3 - Where do you want your marriage to be in five years? Ten years?
J: I have a hard time with the whole 5/10 year questions.
D: I have an answer. Still in sanity land with all our teens!
J: Shooting a little high here, aren't we? Sanity isn't all it's cracked up to be.
D: But I don't want to crack. This is why we need glue - marital glue!
*cue the glue song and our night is done*